Find Your Inner Compass

Find Your Inner Compass

December 4, 2019

For 43 years, I settled. I separated life and work. I thought there was work time and off time. Work time meant that I would leave the place I wanted to be, and those I wanted to be around, to go a place I didn’t want to be to do something I didn’t want to do. After I was done being where I didn’t want to be, I would leave there and go back to the place I wanted to be. Work paid the bills and provided for my family and my role in their lives was doing things I […]

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Navigating the Stress of the Holidays

November 27, 2019

The holidays are the very best time to be grateful for all of our blessings, family, and friends. The holidays can also trigger stress, anxiety, and depression as well. It’s easy to appreciate the joy of the food, presents, lights, fables, traditions, and pageantry, but many dread the swirl of family drama, high expectations, and the demands of our consumer economy. During the holidays, I make extra efforts to enjoy the festivities, while not losing myself and my own desires and lifestyle in the season. In the holiday seasons of 1999 and 2000, my wife Angie and I juggled the […]

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You Can’t Know Everything About Everything

November 18, 2019

I used to think I needed to know everything to be valuable. I couldn’t answer “I don’t know” or even give the appearance that I didn’t know something. I needed to know everything all the time in my professional role, as a husband, as a father, and even as a friend. I tried to maintain a mask of an all-knowing, wise man. It was pure chaos. Getting It All Wrong I was gathered around a Trivial Pursuit board with a group of my friends. We were at a party, a gathering of some friends and others that I didn’t know. […]

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Never 'Fake It Until You Make It"

Never ‘Fake It Until You Make It’

November 12, 2019

I remember when my children were young, and we had gatherings of friends at our house. We worked hard to teach our children to respect our space and time when adults were gathered together. Often our children were guided to be in a different room, especially when we were playing certain games or having specific discussions. My little girls were brilliant and mature for their ages, but we never deemed them mature enough to be in a room with adults. As they grew up, they honored this more and more without resistance, and I thought this was powerful parenting. I […]

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Creating an Intentional Life

November 5, 2019

Do you create your life, or does life happen to you? When my life was most chaotic, I would wake up with minimal time to get ready for work. I was working for a company that selected me from a pool of executive candidates and I felt privileged to work there—not because it was a great environment, but because I was the candidate whom they selected. I felt “lucky” to be there. As I learned about the job expectations of the new position and was “trained” into the role, and I would shoe-horn my talents, skills, and gifts to fit, […]

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Are You Covering Up Unhappiness With Material Possessions?

October 29, 2019

Nice things are, well, nice! I love nice things just as much as everyone else. My most favorite place is my house, and after growing up in a small lower-middle class row home in Baltimore, I fully appreciate the space and comfort that my home offers. In fact, my family has lived together in three time zones, and each time we’ve moved, we purchased a larger house. I’ll repeat that: nice things are nice! As human beings, we get to experience the best of what life has to offer when we create the life we desire. We get to experience […]

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Why Is It So Hard to Say No?

October 22, 2019

I was an enabler for most of my marriage until I learned how to say no. My wife Angie and I were chemically dependent — my drug of choice was alcohol and hers were prescription opioids, benzos, and amphetamines. We were both in over our heads, and upside down with our health, relationship, family, and life in general.  During a significant portion of our time together from 1999 to 2016, Angie was in bed sleeping while I was a functioning alcoholic who managed my career, our household, and our kids. A lot fell on my shoulders, and Angie carried very […]

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O.W.N.E.R.: Own Your Body, Own Your Life

October 16, 2019

The most basic concepts create the biggest shifts and results in our human experience. Overlooking the basics eventually result in pain and suffering. I learned this the hard way.  “How much water do you drink?” my coach asked me on our first coaching call. I had hired him because my life had fallen apart. I had just lost my second six-figure executive position in 20 months. Besides that, I was close to 300 pounds, suicidal, in active alcoholism, and my marriage and family were teetering on the verge of collapse. I had a wife and two daughters who depended on […]

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Perfection is the Enemy of Progress

October 8, 2019

When I was in a corporate setting, I feared making mistakes. My identity was so wrapped up in the ideal, perfectionist view I had created for myself that I procrastinated on everything. I would coach my teams to “not let perfect get in the way of better,” but I wouldn’t always practice this myself. I feared judgement, criticism, and most of all being terminated because I was imperfect. This didn’t just show up in my career. My inadequacy and insecurity often paralyzed me and held me back in so many dimensions of my life.  I am passionate about process improvement. […]

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