Let Them Evolve
Let’s talk about preference versus judgment. Imagine I have a glass of water sitting here in front of me and I say, “I like my water cold with lots of ice.” And somebody else may say, “That’s stupid. You like ice in your water? You’re frickin stupid.” Why is that stupid? We judge all the time based on our preferences. Sure, we prefer certain things, but then we project those preferences onto everyone else. We feel the need to control our environment. It’s purely instinctual. But if we use guilt and shame to impact our environment in ways that we feel will serve us – […]
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Experience Lasting Joy
Desire is a natural part of living life as a human being. You want what you want. You want more money and nicer things. These desires are natural. But some people never move past accumulation as their purpose. Living a life based on accumulation will leave you high, dry, and unfulfilled. I’ve worked with a tremendous number of leaders who had everything their hearts desired but were still chasing ghosts to try to overcome the emptiness they felt inside. That emptiness is the lack of purpose and impact. They might have moved the needle on their organizations and their bank […]
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My Rebirth
I’m a Marine Veteran and a former Fortune 500 executive leader. I achieved massive success through sheer force, overworking, and sacrificing everything else in my life for professional success. In the process I deteriorated from Marine Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) who was rated the number one NCO in my functional division, to a 300-pound suicidal alcoholic with a dysfunctional family fueled by abuse, neglect, and chemical dependency. My wife Angie was embroiled in a 25-year chemical addiction while I struggled in every way, and my two little girls, Katie and Meagan, witnessed the ravages of two parents who thought money, materials, […]
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Master Failure, and Grow
Do you feel you are forcing life or are you enjoying what you are doing and who you are with on a daily basis? We learn most through our failures, not our successes. Competence grows with experience. Mastery comes with extreme competence. In order to increase your competence, you must fail. Celebrate failure. That’s how human beings learn. Master failure, and grow. You Are Enough Right Now We each have innate gifts and talents. There are no exceptions. Everyone possesses value. The issue that I faced in my own life, and the issue I see in my clients, is that […]
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YOU: Your Most Important Relationship
If there’s one thing I can say for certain in my life, it’s that what I learned about relationships from the day I was born was 100% wrong. Nope, I’m not exaggerating. I was taught that the entire purpose of life was self-sacrifice and to serve others from that state. I was taught that everyone else comes first — always. That single belief, passed on for many generations, created so much pain in my life that I almost committed suicide. Again, I am not exaggerating. I spent so much time, energy, and effort serving others and doing what benefitted others […]
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It’s OK to Be Scared
It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to fear uncertainty. It’s okay to doubt past choices or current choices, or what the future holds. It’s OK to Not Know It’s okay to be living in fear of what the future holds right now. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to be anxious. It’s okay to dread the uncertainty that the future is bringing us. These are typical human emotions. When I didn’t have a healthy relationship with fear and uncertainty, I became paralyzed and was brought to my knees. When I didn’t understand the internal workings of fear, uncertainty, […]
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Feeling Leads to Healing
Are you concerned more about creating extraordinary impact and making a massive difference in the world… Or nurturing relationships with, and the feelings, emotions, and judgments of those who were never aligned with you to begin with? I’ve spent too much time on the latter and I’ve held myself back. I can honestly say that I’ve tried to manage impact and the judgment of others, and effectively did neither well. Today I’m feeling all the emotions around wanting to be wanted more than I want to create impact. More has been revealed to me, and I feel emotional rawness. Feeling […]
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Fall On Your Sword
Of course, we want to take care of our families. Of course, we want to serve people. Of course, we want to be physically healthy. We want to have pride in ourselves and how we show up in the world, and what role we play with our family. Feeling proud of yourself and achieving is healthy. That’s healthy pride. But there’s unhealthy pride that can show up and can cause us a lot of pain. My Experience with Unhealthy Pride There are leaders in the world who are excessively proud and attached to what they have already created. I count […]
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Own Your Life and Outcomes
People are scared right now, I get that. I am too. Fear is a natural human response to uncertainty. But it’s also an amazing time to grow. Here are some leadership behaviors that serve at all times when you are looking to increase your internal happiness and external circumstances, especially during challenging times: Cease blaming anyone else. Stop looking to pin your fear and circumstances on others. That may satisfy your bruised ego and deepest fears, but it will not change your circumstances. Justice is a temporary salve. Personal power ONLY resides in absolute personal responsibility (APR). Stop feeling sorry […]
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